Prayers of the Past #2

June 24, 2015
I am having mixed feelings about next week.  The weekend is easier; I don't wait, wonder and worry if DCS is going to call me.  During the week, I wait, wonder and worry.  I want them to call me.  I miss not having children or a child in my home.  I wish they would call with a baby, but then again I am afraid that it is not God's will for them to call.  So Lord, I am having huge issues here.  I trust you and love you and pray for your will to be done in my life.  At the same time, I want a baby.  A baby I can adopt and keep until they get on their own.  A baby to raise and shower with love and teach about you.  I am going to get past my wants and be happy with your will.  The plans you have for me are wonderful and much more than I can imagine.  I praise you and worship you and only want to honor you.

Children's Moment

I will get back to my prayers of the past, but first I wanted to share this.  This Sunday, I am honored to be liturgist at my church again, plus I am doing the Children's Moment. The sermon is on Relying on the Everlasting God.  I have written a very short story that I am going to tell the children on Sunday and just want to share it with everyone tonight.

One afternoon after school, Annabeth’s mother notices she is unusually quiet, as she loves to talk about what happened at school.  Annabeth’s mom asks her, “Honey, are you feeling okay?  You’re not talking much.”

Annabeth looks at her mom.  “Mom, you know how Mrs. Andrews’ dad died, so she hasn’t been at school lately?”

Mrs. Bell’s eyes soften, “Yes, I know.  It’s a very sad time for her.”

“Well, Maddie was telling us at lunch that Mrs. Andrew’s still has a father.  That God is everyone’s father.  Jenny kept arguing with Maddie saying no, God is only Jesus’ father.”

Mrs. Bell can tell Annabeth is trying to process the idea of God being everyone’s father, so she thinks for a moment, slowly gets up from the kitchen table, walks to her bedroom and brings out The Bible she keeps by her bed.

“Annabeth, this is The Bible my grandfather gave me on the day we buried my dad.  I wasn’t much older than you are now.  It was one of the saddest and most joyful days of my life.  I was so sad that my dad was gone, and I would never get to be held by him, or loved by him, or talk to him again.  But on that day, after everyone had gone home, and it was just me, my mom, and my dad’s parents left in our house, Granddad changed my life forever.  He came into my room and sat down on the bed where I was crying.  He had the most peaceful look in his eyes, almost joyful.  I couldn’t believe it.  I asked him if he wasn’t sad about his son dying.  His eyes teared up and he said, of course!  But I am trusting my Father to take care of him and those he left behind, like you and your mom. 

I just looked at him.  ‘Your father?  How can Great-granddad Howard take care of us?  He’s in heaven with dad.’

Granddad looked at me, with that peaceful look again, and said, ‘Katie, I am talking about God, our Father in heaven. He will take care of Jimmy, in heaven and you and the rest of us here on earth.’  Granddad could tell I had no idea what he was talking about.  He opened the Bible and turned to Genesis 1:27:

“So God created human beings in his own image.
             in the image of God he created them;
             male and female he created them.”

 He read from Ephesians 4:6:

                “One God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.”

Then Granddad turned to Isaiah 9:6 and read:

                “For a child is born to us,
                                A son is given to us.
                The government will rest on his shoulders.
                                and he will be called:
                Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
                                Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.”

Granddad laid his Bible on the bed beside me, gave me a hug, whispered “Katie-Bear, I love you and so does your daddy and so does God your Father,” and left the room.  When I picked up the Bible and opened up the cover, I saw a note had been written to me from my dad.  It said: Katie-Bear, I told Granddad to give this to you after my funeral.  I know you are going to be sad and hurt, but please, Katie-Bear, remember the verses, he read to you.  I love you so much and will miss you terribly, as I know you love me and will miss me!  But God will be with you ALWAYS!  HE will NEVER leave you!  When you are sad, frustrated, happy, excited, or angry, your Everlasting Father will be there to comfort you or to celebrate with you!  Tell him your worries, your dreams and your prayers.  Listen to him, let him take away those worries, fulfill your dreams, and answer your prayers!  As much as I love you, Katie-Bear, I could not ever love you as much as God, the Everlasting Father loves you!  He loves all of us beyond anything we can imagine.  Love Daddy

Annabeth looks at her mom and can almost imagine what her mom saw that day in Granddad’s eyes, because her mother has that same peaceful, joyful look in her eyes, even with tears of sorrow for her dad streaming down her face.

Will you pray with me?

Everlasting Father, you love us more than we can imagine.  Before you even made the sun and moon, You knew each of our names, You had our lives laid out.  Help us to remember, Father, that your love is everlasting, and no matter what is going on, or how we act, good or bad, you will love us.  Remind us, Father to lay our worries, dreams and prayers at the foot of the cross, be still, listen to You, and to trust you in everything we do, say and need.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Prayers of the Past #1

I have found an old journal of mine from 2007.  In reading through it, I have found some entries I want to share.  Some I want to share, because they are important to me, and others I want to share because maybe they will help someone out there get through something.  The first entry is a prayer from May 31, 2007. During this time in my life, I was a foster mom through DCS.  I had already fostered 4 children in my home and I was struggling with the fact that I was not married, had no chance of getting married anytime soon, and really wanting to adopt a baby.

"I will be 35 next Friday.  I am joyful, happy and content.  I have given my life over to Jesus,and he has shown me that all this time, when I was searching for my 'perfect' man, he was there all along.  I have been a mother to 4 different children.  What do I think about being a mother to the children I had?  I enjoyed it, but it was hard.  I liked the 3 year old best, because he needed me and he could have eventually been taught to mind and behave.  The first little girl will always have a place in my heart. However, whether I ever get kids again or not is up the Lord.  he has plans for me and from what I have already seen of these plans, they are way better then what I ever dreamed!

"Precious Lord, my creator, my loving best friend, I pray for your will to be done in my life.  I pray that every day I get better at loving well and You use my as You see fit, to help build Your kingdom.  I have a gift, Lord, of writing (as I have been told by many people).  Help me to use that gift to reach out to others and show them Your love. Not for me...but for Your and for them.  Help me cultivate what you have given me. Amen."

June 14, 2007
"I have been going about foster parenting all wrong.  I have been doing it for myself - so I can adopt a child.  I need to do it for the children, so they can get love and learn about God.  Once again, it is not about me - it is about God and the children.  Thank you for showing me this, Lord!!!  I started fostering because I felt I was being lead by God.  I still believe that.  The only difference now is I want to do it to help the children and not myself.  The more children I get, the more children will learn about the Lord!  This, as the minister said on Sunday, is my ministry and to have a ministry, one must have people to minister to.  Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes to this.  I am going to to continue to foster for as long as You allow me to.  I pray that I can help as many children as God wants me to."

Please join me over these next few weeks as I continue to share my past thoughts and prayers about fostering, and the miraculous way I was able to adopt my wonderful son!!

Pride & Plans

I have been looking through my old journals and came upon an entry I would like to share.  As I have reread it, it has touched my heart again.  I pray it helps you, too!

June 18, 2007
Lord, I want to be obedient to you,  In all I do, I pray that I do your will.
I opened The Bible to read tonight, but before that, I prayed God would help me.  I have been unsettled lately, scared, not fulfilled.  I opened The Bible to Jeremiah 13:15:
        "Listen and pay attention!
          Do not be arrogant for the Lord has spoken."

I have been arrogant and beg your forgiveness , Lord.  I saw problems and I decided I would fix them.  I prayed about things that I should not have prayed about.  I am sorry, Lord.  I pray for your will to be done in my life and certainly not my will that I think is yours.  I give you all the glory of my life, Lord, because you have given me all I have, all I had and all I will have.

Then I turned to Proverbs 15:25:
        "The Lord tears down the house of the proud,
           but he protects the property of the widows."

Proverbs 16:1, 3, 9:
        "We can make our own plans,
           but the Lord gives the right answer...

           Commit your actions to the Lord,
            and your plans will succeed...

            We can make our plans,
            but the Lord determines our steps."

Ok, so the theme tonight is pride and plans.  I can see where all this comes from.  I started making my plans about my future, because something happened that I had no control over.  So, I decided to control my future.  Thank you, Lord, for showing this to me.  I am giving up all of my plans. You have plans for me and they are so much better than ANYTHING I could even think of.

All the plans I had are now in the past.  I pray for your guidance in what I should do day by day!!! Thank you for getting me back on track, Lord.

Amen.

Though this was written almost 8 years ago, it really hit home today.  Over the last 8 years, I fell away from God and his guidance.  I took back my plans. Recently, my plans blew up in my face.  I was devastated.  I had no where to go, no one to turn to, except God.  Now, just a short couple of months later, and I am closer to my Father than I have ever been.  I am accepting God's guidance, listening to the Holy Spirit, and working on becoming more like Jesus.  As the quote from Proverbs says above, I am committing my actions to the Father, and he is helping them succeed.  One way my plans are succeeding, is by you, blessed one, reading this blog.  For that, I give God ALL the glory!!!