I have found an old journal of mine from 2007. In reading through it, I have found some entries I want to share. Some I want to share, because they are important to me, and others I want to share because maybe they will help someone out there get through something. The first entry is a prayer from May 31, 2007. During this time in my life, I was a foster mom through DCS. I had already fostered 4 children in my home and I was struggling with the fact that I was not married, had no chance of getting married anytime soon, and really wanting to adopt a baby.
"I will be 35 next Friday. I am joyful, happy and content. I have given my life over to Jesus,and he has shown me that all this time, when I was searching for my 'perfect' man, he was there all along. I have been a mother to 4 different children. What do I think about being a mother to the children I had? I enjoyed it, but it was hard. I liked the 3 year old best, because he needed me and he could have eventually been taught to mind and behave. The first little girl will always have a place in my heart. However, whether I ever get kids again or not is up the Lord. he has plans for me and from what I have already seen of these plans, they are way better then what I ever dreamed!
"Precious Lord, my creator, my loving best friend, I pray for your will to be done in my life. I pray that every day I get better at loving well and You use my as You see fit, to help build Your kingdom. I have a gift, Lord, of writing (as I have been told by many people). Help me to use that gift to reach out to others and show them Your love. Not for me...but for Your and for them. Help me cultivate what you have given me. Amen."
June 14, 2007
"I have been going about foster parenting all wrong. I have been doing it for myself - so I can adopt a child. I need to do it for the children, so they can get love and learn about God. Once again, it is not about me - it is about God and the children. Thank you for showing me this, Lord!!! I started fostering because I felt I was being lead by God. I still believe that. The only difference now is I want to do it to help the children and not myself. The more children I get, the more children will learn about the Lord! This, as the minister said on Sunday, is my ministry and to have a ministry, one must have people to minister to. Thank you, Lord, for opening my eyes to this. I am going to to continue to foster for as long as You allow me to. I pray that I can help as many children as God wants me to."
Please join me over these next few weeks as I continue to share my past thoughts and prayers about fostering, and the miraculous way I was able to adopt my wonderful son!!
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